Bank invents silver bullet to delete personal records from Google's evil grasp

Serendipity. There is no other word to describe Rocky Mountain Bank's latest discovery. But before explaining this modern miracle, let me ask you if you are worried about Google's pervasive presence and how much they know about you?

Are you worried about Google Street View knowing where you live? Are you worried about Google combing through your Gmail account and sending you ads? Are you worried about the Biggest Brother (TM) technology patented by Google that lets them track your every search you perform on Google.com?

Then fear not! Rocky Mountain Bank (RMB) just struck a blow for freedom-loving people everywhere. And the sheer simplicity of it is pure genius. Of course, they were aided by an idiot judge, but every discovery has one such sidekick.

Lets go to the report:

On Aug. 12, the bank mistakenly sent names, addresses, social security numbers and loan information of more than 1,300 customers to a Gmail address. When the bank realized the problem, it sent a message to that same address asking the recipient to contact the bank and destroy the file without opening it. No one responded, so the bank contacted Google to ask for information about the account holder.

In keeping with its privacy policy, Google told the bank it would have to get a court order to obtain such data. The bank then filed papers asking a court to order Google to disclose the information and deactivate the account.

The bank attempted to file its papers under seal, but U.S. District Court Judge Ronald Whyte denied that request. Earlier this week, the case was transferred to Ware from Whyte.

Some lawyers say the Ware's order is problematic because it affects the Gmail account holder's First Amendment rights to communicate online, as well as his or her privacy rights.

"It's outrageous that the bank asked for this, and it's outrageous that the court granted it," says John Morris, general counsel at the Center for Democracy & Technology. "What right does the bank have and go suspend the email account of a completely innocent person?"

He adds: "At the end of the day, the bank obviously screwed up. But it should not be bringing a lawsuit against two completely innocent parties and disrupting one of the innocent party's email contact to the world."

Oh no Mr. Morris--you could not be more wrong. Don't you see RMB actually found the silver bullet to slay the behemoth that is Google? One by one, they will send emails to Gmail users. Then they will file lawsuits to shut down those accounts. Google will be forced to disclose the name of the account holder. Given the lack of privacy, very soon, people will stop using Gmail. Google's resources will be spent on lawyers. And Rockey Mountain Bank would emerge victorious, having finally crushed Google.

Idiots